So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
