dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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