Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
