This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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