you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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