I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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