I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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