We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
