So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
