I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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