Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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