I got chris browned last night
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
