Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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