Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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