just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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