So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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