Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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