In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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