so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
