Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
