Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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