When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
