Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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