I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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