Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
