Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
