I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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