it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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