Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
