I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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