Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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