hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
