nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
