i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
