Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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