i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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