I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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