I'm gonna have a badass scar
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
