sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
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