Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
