he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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