Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
