We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
How naked do you want me to be?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
