I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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