Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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