That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
