i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize