rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
