just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
