I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
