Having a random hookup so left but love u
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
