have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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