no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize