Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
