I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You made out with two different species that night
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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