We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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