batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Randomize
