Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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