I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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