Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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