it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
