Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
